49 Facts Social Media Won't Reveal About Me
Why hello fellow earthling, your curiosity is welcomed here. Continue reading…
What it do. Okay, so obviously, I have a personal brand (Tracy G.) that you’ve probably been introduced to via Sway In The Morning or Instagram or Twitter, which is cute and shit, but really only gives you a slice of who I am as a human (Tracy Garraud) and a spoonful of who I am as a soul (name pending lol).
No one’s entitled to—and no one even has the capacity to— feast on my entire existence. For one simple reason really. And it’s that like you, a bitch is a bottomless bowl of abundance.
And maybe not like you, I’m also a Scorpio sun who honors privacy as a form of wellness lol.
Aight so here’s the deal. I’ve got a trillion layers to me, so why not share, say, 49 of them with the intention of not only humanizing myself, but connecting to you.
“Wellness” definitely isn’t all affirmations and oat milk, as you’ll see in this intro 101 of the kid coming straight to you from the bright and dark sides of realness. I don’t care if you judge me <3
1. I’m 101% Haitian.
2. I have an insatiable curiosity for all these damn words that start with the letter s – souls, sexuality, sanity, spirituality, success, sociology. Maybe cause I’m a Scorpio?
3. I stood on an expensive marble table during my first college party thrown by these bedazzle-belted senior dudes. It broke in half. I fled the scene and rode the subway back to the dorms while lying flat on my stomach.
4. As a child, my four favorite things to do were: secretly analyze the humans in my life through written form, read long paragraphs aloud, steal magazines (YM, Teen People & Seventeen, yikes) and watch new episodes of Oprah while between my mother’s legs as she massaged my scalp with Vaseline.
5. My top fear is stumbling over rows of words during my first seconds after death when God eventually asks how I added value to my life and the lives of others. My second place fear is a home invasion. My used-to-be fear was long-term monogamy.
I kinda consider myself a disciple of Billy Blanks. As a 7th grader, I remember my mother treating every fitness informercial like a buffet, just trying every last home gym invention. And finally she fell into the hex that was Taebo and because at age 11 it was my duty to be my mother’s personal weightloss coach, I learned every grunt, every roundhouse kick, every flickety finger point that man performed in his videos. It was my first taste of the power combo of motivation, adrenaline, endorphins, change and craziness.
7. Marie Claire, Billboard, Rolling Stone, VIBE, SPIN, Complex, XXL and other spots all decided to hire me as a writer at some point.
8. I’m strongly considering cremation as my body’s final destination so I can be worn around a loved one’s neck, planted with the seeds of a tree and possibly sprinkled into someone’s dessert cause I heard I taste that good lmao
9. I survived a Scientology service and memorialized the experience with a tattoo.
10. I gifted my virginity to a lifelong crush at the age of 17 in the backseat of a car. It was ghetto. It was magical. He was five years older than me, my best friend’s brother and a forbidden love. My then 12-year-old sister was the first person I confessed this to. I wanted to bury in her conscious that sex happens when two people are madly and committedly in love… even if the surroundings are eh.
11. I’m pansexual and Jesus still can’t keep his hands off me.
12. I was in a mentally, emotionally and physically abusive relationship on and off for three years with a woman I wanted to marry. I did a short podcast episode about that actually, you can listen here.
13. I currently have a big time fascination with fingerprints.
14. I personally think God’s actually okay with my array of four letter words, so long as it’s not in regards to your mother… or my mother.
15. I’d love to have too many glasses of wine with Elizabeth Gilbert, Khalil Gibran, Rob Kardashian, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, SZA and Mary Magdalene.
16. I’ve had to do heavy duty inner work for healing from comparison.
17. I’m all for aiding women, which includes myself, in unlocking our godliness, buuuuuuut don’t think I’m obliged to rock with every walking human who dangles ovaries. I can respect a woman without agreeing with her and I can dislike a woman without trashing her.
18. In college I swallowed too many pills, intentionally :(
19. Shoplifting cheap rings, lipgloss and magazines was my shit back in the day.
20. I prefer lime in my water over lemon.
21. 60% of my apartment has been copped via the OG shopping mall of dot com --Craigslist.
22. I'm just now getting over my discomfort in the presence of... butterflies. Deadass. Unfortunately, this isn’t a metaphor.
23. The only time I'm completely capable of linear thought is during a workout.
24. I'm a hoe phase late bloomer.
25. My order of love languages are: words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time.
26. Horribly crafted emails + toxic masculinity + women apologizing for no solid sense of a reason are my biggest pet peeves of all existence.
27. I ain't got no damn clue how to corn-row my hair. HALP!!!
28. I pick my nose in private.
29. Three past jobs I’ve had: choreographer, Melyssa Ford’s personal assistant, event planner.
30. I met the love of my life on Instagram.
31. If me and Carl have children, no matter the sex, we’d love to name our first born, Jackson.
32. I’m fascinated with the minds of sugarbabies.
33. I’m pretty sure I entered nirvana for 11 strong seconds during locust pose.
34. I’m a registered yoga teacher who’s terrified of teaching a class.
35. I’m not on Clubhouse right now for a couple of reasons. Right now in my life I don’t want to be on any social media platform without having a clear intention. I also don’t want yet another reason to be on my phone making it easier for distractions to seduce me. I have a hard enough time making sure I’m truly present in my friends lives so why would I sacrifice that further? In this modern day culture of missed texts, malnourished friendships and social anxiety, it’s interesting to me that instead of mending those communication issues, many of us will prioritize communication only when there’s a “stage” and an “audience” lol. I’ve fallen for the validation trap many, many, many a time. Oh! And there’s this form of social capital on there that just doesn’t sit with me well… a curious invite from a former bedmate who I don’t speak to at all and knows my man is on there, made me ask someone questions lol. Def think there are great uses for that app, so I’m certainly not looking at anyone sideways for getting involved… just not for me, right now.
36. I’d rather have a God than a genie.
37. A few of my favorite TV shows were and are: Doug, Dawson’s Creek, Fear Factor, Sex And The City, Martin, The L Word, Snowfall, This Is Us, Ozark.
38. Alison Roman earned my forgiveness. Judge me.
39. I haven’t drank soda in perhaps 20 years now.
40. When I did drink it, if it came out the fridge, I’d put that sucker in the microwave for 10 seconds smh. A little heat maximized the flavor in my opinion smh. What the fuck…
41. I was assaulted on the 2 train in Brooklyn headed to Manhattan during rush hour morning one horrible day many moons ago.
42. I’m growing out of the brand name, She’s Beauty And The Beast. A reveal is en route.
43. I want plenty of financial wealth so I can be a frequent participant in my local and Black economy, experience and gift beauty in as many forms as possible and so I can fund two environmentalist friends of mine, who I believe can save this planet from ourselves.
44. At the top of 2021, I got real curious about my weight, because my energy was sluggish and my go-to fits were starting to feel more like flesh than actual clothes lol. Stepped on a dusty forgotten scale and saw 185lbs. A high number for some. A low number for some. A new number for me. My ego was shocked, but my spirit was FASCINATED. It finally hit me that our bodies are truly of service to US. Truly. To the point where it makes room for ALL our decisions hahaha. Like yo lmao that is some true to devotion. I didn't even know my body was capable of that kind of expansion. But back to the ego… Of course it felt a whole type of negative way. Ranting all up and down the hallways of my brain talking bout "I'm supposed to be in shape." "But I'm the one who's always motivating my friends on their health and fitness journeys." "Wait, how you supposed to be on camera now?" "Wow bitch..." We all know the catalyst for thoughts like this. Hello Patriarchy. And though I eventually decided to hire a nutrition and training coach, I was explicit about wanting to honor this body not just in future tense but present as well. One version isn’t better than the other. They’re actually both neutral, it’s I who creates the story. And it’s a story I do my best to rewrite with respect one day at a time.
45. *whispers* SKIMS is fucking incredible. *scurries away*
46. When I was in 7th grade I convinced this boy, I think he was in 5th grade, to bring his daddy's handcuffs on the bus so I could see what they felt like. I guess I wanted a teaspoon of middle school masochism while I waited for my first menstrual cycle to arrive. Smh. Anyways, he put the handcuffs on me, which made me feel like I was more badass than Roger Klotz... but then... he dropped the key. Panic came storming in and that's when I felt something no one warned me about... the IMMEDIATE TIGHTENING. WOW WOW WOW WOW. I punched the boy when he finally took the cuffs off me. He took too long to get that damn key :(
47. I’m so proud of myself for enjoying a one night stand some years before meeting Carl! Always wanted one. Partly so I could chuckle to myself as an old lady on her stoop sippin baileys from a coffee mug.
48. Okay, it ended up being like a four night stand plus a date, but I didn’t choose this bonus, it chose me lol.
49. Back in 2011, a moment that should’ve been my brightest professional milestone spun into the opposite. My very first magazine cover story. Amber Rose. Vibe’s June/July Sexy issue. Depending on how old you are, this may be a humongous moment of ummmm, but trust with the context of the time, it was a bigass deal. A deal that took many, many, many months to secure. When it finally happened, the plot twists were plentiful, including the accusation from her manager that I was trying to sleep with her! False to the maximum and embarrassing.
Okay that’s where I’m at as of September 2021 lol, but of course as I evolve (and remember), this list will evolve (and update).
Anything resonate with you? Want some more details on a specific numero? Do share in the comments below or hit me on twitter/instagram @itstracyg.
Thanks so much for reading!
PS: So many of yall lovely comments from past iterations of this post are gone cause I had to refresh my website BLAH!!!!
